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Showtime, Synergy

by Matt Siegel

It was an acquaintance and former editor of one of those homosexual lifestyle magazines who advised twenty-year-old me to tone it down if I ever wanted to find a boyfriend. This coming from a man obsessed with anything Disney-related; the walls of his West Hollywood condo adorned with carefully framed Snow White and Fantasia animation cels. “You don’t need to tell them how much you love Belinda Carlisle on your first date,” he said. “But I carry out love Belinda Carlisle! That quavering vibrato!” I whined. “Well,” he said, “they’ll find out eventually, and by that point they will love you, Belinda and all.” While I hate(d) him for saying it, I understood the algorithm: gay men are attracted to men, so the more you resemble a guy, the more desirable you will be to a gay guy. [Insert frowny face emoticon.]

Disturbed by the revelation, I conducted a yearlong college research project studying a sample of geographically diverse male-for-male personal ads from the s through the then-present-day (), and the data confirmed Disney Gay’s notions: “No

Oneofthe things I appreciate most about my mom is that there is not one bit of inauthenticity or dishonesty in her body. When she acts a certain way or says a certain thing, it's because she means it; she never, ever holds help, and that's something you don't locate in many people, especially in these superficial days we live in today.

That same candor was on show on the diurnal I came out to her almost six years ago, when she broke down in tears after I finally managed to conjure up the courage to utter the words "I appreciate boys" to her on our way back from a trip to the lake. She couldn't stop crying, and I remember thinking that this must mean she doesn't approve.

After three days of being holed up in her bedroom, she finally came out and talked to me about it. She said she felt bad about her breakdown in the car, because it might have led me to assume that it was a sign of her disapproval, when in fact it was just shock; she couldn't obscure it, because that's how she felt, and as I said before, she never, ever holds back.

She had never truly contemplated the possibility of me

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